God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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