She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
