You just made me feel so damn special
i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
