dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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