haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Randomize
