Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
