Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
