you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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