I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
