Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
