Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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