put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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