Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
