I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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