I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
