im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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