So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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