of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
