If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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