it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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