Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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