I got chris browned last night
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize