sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
