My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
