the new term for farting is butt boxing.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
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