Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
