I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
