she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
