sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
