Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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