Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
