This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
