Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish you could order shots online.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
