Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
