Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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