I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
