I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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