sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
