Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it glows. i had to have it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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