He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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