I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
