just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
