If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
