nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
