When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm getting married
To pizza
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
