You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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