I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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