I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
