ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
