Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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