Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
