I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
