so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
So squirting runs in the family.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
