how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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