i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
