dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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