I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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