VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
