i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
