The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
