Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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